four-month anniversary
Caleb and I were married four months ago today. I realize that the word "anniversary" literally indicates the passing of an entire year. However, I am convinced that when you're talking about your first year of marriage, each month, in a way, is full of enough stuff to last most people a year. So we've decided that for the first year, we get to celebrate every month. The learning curve has been steep, with more changes than I'll probably experience each year of the rest of my life.
Don't believe me? Well, let me explain. Just two weeks before I got married I quit my job (a rather traumatic experience on its own) and started a new one. I put in five days before taking the two weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon. I concluded four months of hectic wedding planning, I got married, went on a honeymoon to Canada (where we were both sick), then on my return home, I moved. And I moved in with a man, no less. I'd never lived with a man before. Then, just a week after moving I went to the social security office and the DMV and changed my name. I was no longer a Hammer, but a Weston. Even four months later sometimes I forget. Those first couple months of marriage were filled with fixing up the condo, getting used to a new job, shopping and cooking for two, combining our finances and our DVDs, coordinating schedules between families and friends. And then to add to the flurry of change, Caleb's grandmother got sick. After six weeks in the hospital she finally succumbed to pancreatic cancer and a paralyzed stomach. I don't think I realized until it was over just how draining that was. And now, just as things seem to be settling a little, we're heading into October, a big birthday month, and then the holidays.
All the while we're getting used to living with each other, being in each other's business all the time, leaving our stuff out in the other person's way, dealing with way different sleeping schedules (he only needs about 6 hours and is a morning person, I do best on 9 and I ... well ... I don't do mornings), and we still don't know just what color to paint the study. We still need to finish combining our finances and knowing what bills the other person is paying, the study still isn't really usable, the guest toilet simply does not want to be fixed, and I think the bouganvilla is going to die. We've missed friends who've been in town for short times and there are people we haven't contacted since the wedding that I'm sure think we got married and MOVED to Canada. To each of you, and you know who you are, I promise the dust will settle .... eventually.
However, for all its stress and change and chaos, getting married has been the best thing I have ever done. First of all, I married my best friend, the man of my dreams. And with each month, week, even day, that passes, I find myself even more smitten by the man I now get to come home to every day. Overriding the challenges that newlywedhood has brought on is a love that truly surpasses everything. Its amazing. I don't want to get too mushy here in this public place, but Caleb is truly the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love and appreciate him more each day, and continue to be awed by his sincere care and love for me. Its the very love every girl dreams about her whole life. And here I get to have it, every day, for as long as God lets us walk this earth. I feel nothing but truly blessed. I am blessed far beyond anything I have ever earned or deserve. Ever. And yet here I am, living the fairy tale ... Yes, its a fairy tale, even though there are paint colors to be chosen and the plants are dying and I can't shop as frivolously as I used to. I wouldn't change a thing. I love being married to the right man at the right time.
I'm embarrassed to say the following quotation actually comes from Ann Landers, but its still very true of my life right now: "If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough." I know we've only been married four months, and the years ahead will teach us so much more, but I know that Caleb and I will always be there for each other, to help the other reach heights previously out of reach, to encourage each other to things we wouldn't have dared before. I look forward to my life with him. It will be a life full of love, and I am truly a believer that with love, we can accomplish anything.
Don't believe me? Well, let me explain. Just two weeks before I got married I quit my job (a rather traumatic experience on its own) and started a new one. I put in five days before taking the two weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon. I concluded four months of hectic wedding planning, I got married, went on a honeymoon to Canada (where we were both sick), then on my return home, I moved. And I moved in with a man, no less. I'd never lived with a man before. Then, just a week after moving I went to the social security office and the DMV and changed my name. I was no longer a Hammer, but a Weston. Even four months later sometimes I forget. Those first couple months of marriage were filled with fixing up the condo, getting used to a new job, shopping and cooking for two, combining our finances and our DVDs, coordinating schedules between families and friends. And then to add to the flurry of change, Caleb's grandmother got sick. After six weeks in the hospital she finally succumbed to pancreatic cancer and a paralyzed stomach. I don't think I realized until it was over just how draining that was. And now, just as things seem to be settling a little, we're heading into October, a big birthday month, and then the holidays.
All the while we're getting used to living with each other, being in each other's business all the time, leaving our stuff out in the other person's way, dealing with way different sleeping schedules (he only needs about 6 hours and is a morning person, I do best on 9 and I ... well ... I don't do mornings), and we still don't know just what color to paint the study. We still need to finish combining our finances and knowing what bills the other person is paying, the study still isn't really usable, the guest toilet simply does not want to be fixed, and I think the bouganvilla is going to die. We've missed friends who've been in town for short times and there are people we haven't contacted since the wedding that I'm sure think we got married and MOVED to Canada. To each of you, and you know who you are, I promise the dust will settle .... eventually.
However, for all its stress and change and chaos, getting married has been the best thing I have ever done. First of all, I married my best friend, the man of my dreams. And with each month, week, even day, that passes, I find myself even more smitten by the man I now get to come home to every day. Overriding the challenges that newlywedhood has brought on is a love that truly surpasses everything. Its amazing. I don't want to get too mushy here in this public place, but Caleb is truly the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love and appreciate him more each day, and continue to be awed by his sincere care and love for me. Its the very love every girl dreams about her whole life. And here I get to have it, every day, for as long as God lets us walk this earth. I feel nothing but truly blessed. I am blessed far beyond anything I have ever earned or deserve. Ever. And yet here I am, living the fairy tale ... Yes, its a fairy tale, even though there are paint colors to be chosen and the plants are dying and I can't shop as frivolously as I used to. I wouldn't change a thing. I love being married to the right man at the right time.
I'm embarrassed to say the following quotation actually comes from Ann Landers, but its still very true of my life right now: "If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough." I know we've only been married four months, and the years ahead will teach us so much more, but I know that Caleb and I will always be there for each other, to help the other reach heights previously out of reach, to encourage each other to things we wouldn't have dared before. I look forward to my life with him. It will be a life full of love, and I am truly a believer that with love, we can accomplish anything.
