Honestly
I don't know about you, but I find that one of the most difficult people to be honest with is myself. Somehow, I can be even more intent on deluding myself about things than I am about deluding others. My true self, what I REALLY feel and REALLY want ... can sometimes alarm me, depress me, confuse me. There is a person I wish I were, and then there is the person I actually am. And when truth contradicts the imaginary self, I begin to fib ... most often to myself. I find it harder to fool others (oddly enough).
Take, for instance, American Idol. I find it such a fascinating cultural phenomenon of mass delusion. We are entertained weekly by the American Deluded ... people who have truly convinced themselves that they can sing, and sometimes dance. I've never seen so many good liars ... er, people afraid to admit to themselves that maybe the person they wish they were is not the person they are. They've deluded themselves to the point of national humiliation. How does it go that far? And more importantly, why are we so afraid to be who we are? What is wrong with the very person God created us to be? Whether or not we can sing?
I've often found great irony in a society that longs for individuality, and yet scoffs at the person who doesn't buy into the current trends, wear the latest clothes, have the most current hairstyle, listen to the right music, have the right friends (who have all the right aforementioned qualities). How hypocritical are we? We value individuality and yet find fault with the person who is truly unique.
But have you ever finally let go and admitted to yourself the truth? Have you ever finally opened the windows and turned up the radio to sing, with all your heart, to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On"? Have you ever just worn your hot pink converse high tops, no matter what anyone says or does? Have you ever decided to just go ahead and let the inner self out, admit the truth to the world? "I LOVE BOWLER HATS!" Admitting some of our deepest secrets, first and foremost to ourselves, and letting it be OK, can be one of the most freeing feelings in the world. Its where the end to pretending must begin.
Sometimes the truth is hard because its contrary to what we think OTHER people want us to be, or even believe us to be. For me, I had to admit to the missionary world that it didn't fit me, I wanted something else, a more difficult thing than you might imagine. In high school I had to let it be OK that I was in to country music. And I am currently working at helping friends and family understand that I just might be an introvert. I guess in my journey of self-discovery I've had to drown out the noises of perceived expectations from my friends and family, even myself, and listen to that voice deep within myself telling me what I REALLY want, and who I really might be. And when we listen, and let that voice come to the surface ... we suddenly find ourselves free. Truly free to be who we truly are.
This also leads to understanding to just exactly who God created me to be. If I don't ever understand that, how can I truly serve him best? If I want so much to be a preacher, but deep down am truly an administrator, I will spend a lifetime struggling in my weakness instead of thriving in my strength.
These are just a few thoughts I've been having today. I encourage you to search the depths of yourself as well. Though you might not be thrilled about what you find, I guarantee you will find relief and freedom.
Sidenote:
I found a website today that truly intrigued me. It was started as a school project and has turned into a celebrated blog. The author invites people to send him their secrets, anonymously, on a postcard. They are supposed to be things they've never told anyone else. He posts them on his website. The truths revealed there are alarming, funny, sad ... and all of them, in some way, shape or form, echo the cries within ourselves to be truly honest, to finally say what we've been wishing we could. I encourage you to take a look, and share your thoughts with me. Its a fascinating foray into the American psyche.
Here's the web address: PostSecret.com (Warning: the first picture on the blog the week of Jan.21-27 is not for the weak-hearted. The author changes the posts every Sunday.)
Please, tell me what you think.
Take, for instance, American Idol. I find it such a fascinating cultural phenomenon of mass delusion. We are entertained weekly by the American Deluded ... people who have truly convinced themselves that they can sing, and sometimes dance. I've never seen so many good liars ... er, people afraid to admit to themselves that maybe the person they wish they were is not the person they are. They've deluded themselves to the point of national humiliation. How does it go that far? And more importantly, why are we so afraid to be who we are? What is wrong with the very person God created us to be? Whether or not we can sing?
I've often found great irony in a society that longs for individuality, and yet scoffs at the person who doesn't buy into the current trends, wear the latest clothes, have the most current hairstyle, listen to the right music, have the right friends (who have all the right aforementioned qualities). How hypocritical are we? We value individuality and yet find fault with the person who is truly unique.
But have you ever finally let go and admitted to yourself the truth? Have you ever finally opened the windows and turned up the radio to sing, with all your heart, to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On"? Have you ever just worn your hot pink converse high tops, no matter what anyone says or does? Have you ever decided to just go ahead and let the inner self out, admit the truth to the world? "I LOVE BOWLER HATS!" Admitting some of our deepest secrets, first and foremost to ourselves, and letting it be OK, can be one of the most freeing feelings in the world. Its where the end to pretending must begin.
Sometimes the truth is hard because its contrary to what we think OTHER people want us to be, or even believe us to be. For me, I had to admit to the missionary world that it didn't fit me, I wanted something else, a more difficult thing than you might imagine. In high school I had to let it be OK that I was in to country music. And I am currently working at helping friends and family understand that I just might be an introvert. I guess in my journey of self-discovery I've had to drown out the noises of perceived expectations from my friends and family, even myself, and listen to that voice deep within myself telling me what I REALLY want, and who I really might be. And when we listen, and let that voice come to the surface ... we suddenly find ourselves free. Truly free to be who we truly are.
This also leads to understanding to just exactly who God created me to be. If I don't ever understand that, how can I truly serve him best? If I want so much to be a preacher, but deep down am truly an administrator, I will spend a lifetime struggling in my weakness instead of thriving in my strength.
These are just a few thoughts I've been having today. I encourage you to search the depths of yourself as well. Though you might not be thrilled about what you find, I guarantee you will find relief and freedom.
Sidenote:
I found a website today that truly intrigued me. It was started as a school project and has turned into a celebrated blog. The author invites people to send him their secrets, anonymously, on a postcard. They are supposed to be things they've never told anyone else. He posts them on his website. The truths revealed there are alarming, funny, sad ... and all of them, in some way, shape or form, echo the cries within ourselves to be truly honest, to finally say what we've been wishing we could. I encourage you to take a look, and share your thoughts with me. Its a fascinating foray into the American psyche.
Here's the web address: PostSecret.com (Warning: the first picture on the blog the week of Jan.21-27 is not for the weak-hearted. The author changes the posts every Sunday.)
Please, tell me what you think.
Great post Heidi. That link was pretty cool as well!
Posted by
Gretchen |
6:24 PM