East to Weston (the Original)

Some months ago I wrote an entry about embarking on a weight-loss journey. Having only begun it at the time, I was full of motivation and inspiration and enthusiasm for my plan. Well, I am happy to report that several months later (I’ve lost track of exactly how long I’ve been actively doing this), I am STILL motivated! I don’t know if my enthusiasm is as high as it once was, but my motivation is definitely still there. I am still getting up early most mornings to work out, I’m still skipping dessert and drinking mostly water and have even cut out most of my coffee intake. I see progress every week, which is what tends to keep me motivated.

I admit the journey has had its fair share of ups and downs. If I’d really stuck with things, I am sure by now I could have lost twice as much as I actually have. There have been periods of three to four weeks where I seem to lose the same pound-and-a-half … and then periods losing five pounds in two weeks. The process is not a smooth one, the graph isn’t one steady climbing line. And I’ve had my share of “bad days” where I eat nothing but Reese’s Pieces for dinner. But with every week that passes, and every small milestone reached, I am closer to my goal. And it has been exciting to see the overall progress as my eating and exercise habits slowly change.

What is my goal, you might ask. Well, I’m trying to keep my goal loose and vague, rather than shooting for a target weight. I am pursuing health, better eating habits, a more active lifestyle. I am trying to teach myself portion control, how to choose wisely from a restaurant menu, and to think about what I’m eating at parties and snacking on at home. Its so easy to eat mindlessly. My goal is to overhaul this area of my life, something that has long needed an overhaul, not just lose weight to lose weight. Because once I DO reach my goal, I want to be able to maintain that, hopefully for a lifetime. But that kind of change takes time … lots of it, I’m discovering.

But things are happening, and I’m proud to report that the scale shows I’ve lost 16 pounds overall. My clothes are all too loose, some so loose its time to retire them to the Good Will. It’s been nice to be able to wear everything in my closet again, even those pants that for a while were too tight to wear in public. Don’t want to embarrass the masses, you know. Lately I’ve been going shopping in my own closet! And I’ve found fun things that seem new all over again.

But that hasn’t necessarily satisfied the itch to shop. I love to shop, you see. I love to wander the mall, I love to find that great deal. I love to have that new shirt in my closet that makes me feel girly and beautiful … or that pair of shoes to finally match that dress perfectly … or a new purse to add to the already-burgeoning collection, but which simply HAD to be had. And I’ve been pretty good about not buying much lately (I want to SAVE my money and go on a big shopping spree some time this summer when my goal has been reached … a whole new wardrobe!).

However, yesterday I got the uncontrollable urge to SHOP. So on my lunch break, I went to the mall. I decided to hit The Limited and see if they had any sales going on. It’s my absolute FAVORITE store. And you see, for all the fun my own wardrobe has been, things ARE getting too loose, and I just need a few things to get me through that awkward stage between the size I am and the size I want to be.

Well, wouldn’t you know it … The Limited was having a HUGE sale! Everything on sale was an additional 40% off! That meant that the pants that were marked down to $50 from $98, were now only $30! It was a dream. I could have really well-made pants from my fancy store for the price of the crappy ones at Old Navy!

But there was a problem. The pants in my size fit me very well, close to being on the loose side. I could have worn them that day and looked FABULOUS. But as I stood there in the dressing room in the really nice formerly $98 pants, I got to thinking … if I buy these in my size now, I’ll only get to wear them for a few weeks, and then they’ll be too big. But if I buy them the next size down (a size I haven’t worn in years, by the way), a size I can get on but shouldn’t leave the house in just yet, it would really only be another month or so until I could wear them … and THEN I could wear them for several months, at least. The investment on pants that don’t currently fit me was seeming more and more like the wise one. I’d already proven I’m losing weight. I know I’ll do it.

And so I did it. I broke one of the most cardinal rules of shopping, and I bought TWO pair of pants that don’t fit me! They’re hanging in my closet right now, pants I can’t wear in public, pants I hope will fit me in May! AM I CRAZY?! I’ve never really done that before, not being a believer in the “if I spend real money on something super cute but too small I’ll be motivated to lose the weight so I can wear it” theory. It doesn’t work. But this time, I’ve already proven that losing the weight won’t be an issue. I’m already motivated … and oddly enough, the awesome pants in my closet that don’t fit me are actually bringing back some of that lost enthusiasm to go along with my motivation to keep going. Because in just another month or so, I will get to wear beautiful fabulous NEW pants that make me feel good and pretty and … well, smaller.

And so the journey continues.

(For updates on my weight loss, I actually keep a ticker updated at the bottom of this page … just in case you’re interested.)

Posted by hjw on 30 March 2007 at 12:52 PM | Permalink